It was just a week or so ago that I was writing intently about my monkey brain. It got so quiet that I was able to dig deeper, and talk about other aspects of what was or was not going on in my head. I had gone past the thoughts to the feelings and was getting comfortable relaxing behind them. That is the thing, right there, that word, comfortable. Or, we can call it complacent.
The thing about this quest, is knowing that it is an ever expanding journey, you don't reach a destination and check it off of your list. I've arrived! And, never, ever do you go mouthing off about the distance you have traveled.
All of the above behavior causes slippage. Just when you least expect it that monkey shows up and you never see him or that banana he's thrown into your path until you are back down face up on the floor.
Am I being a bit overly dramatic here, well yes. But I mean it!
I remember participating in the live web feed series on www.oprah.com when she did the book discussion of A New Earth, with Eckhart Tolle. In one broadcast O asked Eckhart if he really lived ego free, was the ego eliminated from his life. He said yes, but that is not to say that it will never come back, you have to remain constantly living in the moment, ever aware of who you are, but that the ego was a tricky thing. He said that if it came back he might not even know it, that she or someone else may need to point it out because it is so tricky.
Well today while walking out for lunch, talking to a coworker, in my mind, in an unbragging way, I told him how happy I was that very morning because of a situation I was in in which I would normally resorted to defending my ego, rather than letting the moment pass and letting go...oh yea, I was so happy.
Maybe it was so easy because in that situation, I could see how I was partially responsible. Oh but later in the day, when having to deal with a situation that I KNEW, that I held no responsibility for...oh it was a different situation!
As I sat in the moment in the second event I could feel the ego rising, and oh what a dangerous thing a self righteous ego can be. Did I let it jump out of my mouth, no....but the struggle inside, that was a battle I lost.
That battle took at least 20 minutes of shaking off nasty energy in the afternoon that could have been spent doing something much more constructive. So there it is.
Have I lost ground? Am I caught back up in the cycle? No! We must learn to let it all go. Could I have done better? Yes! Should I have, of course. Will that event keep me ever more vigilant? You damn right it will!!!
In the third verse of the Tao Te Ching, Lao-tzu tells us:
The Sage governs
by emptying minds and hearts,
by weakening ambitions and strengthening bones.
Practice not doing...
When action is pure and selfless,
everything settles into its own perfect place.
This is a portion of verse three that I read this very morning upon rising. For me, it says to come to any situation, any intent, with an open heart and mind. Bring forth the problem that you wish to be solved with a humble attitude, and let the way take care of everything else. Not being stank because you think you are right!
Today, I am thankful for all energy that I encounter, good or bad, my own or someone else. It is all being provided for me to use as a tool to KNOCK that damn monkey down!
Lifeis: About getting that monkey off your back!