I think that I am slowly retreating from resistance to my thoughts and actions. We don't argue anymore. We've gone from screaming matches, to arguments, to slight disagreements, to finding humor in the fight, to surrender. Not that the fighting has stopped, I just grab some popcorn and and watch as the struggle fizzles itself out. In the words of JayZ: On to the next one!
It's crazy that this quest for peace is undertaken on such a bumpy road! That to release, hurt, anger, angst, and fear is difficult is rather a funny notion when you think about it. I mean who would not want with all of their heart to dissipate these things that cause us grief?
Why is it so hard to release anger, fear, and judgement? Is it because we have used our stance on that which makes us angry, fearful, and judgmental as a model for who we are? Does it give us a sense of superiority? Does hating, let's say people who drink and drive, make you more conscientious, more responsible, more in the know? Does it make you right?
Somewhere in the midst of all of the mucky muck, I am finding laughter, humor and fun! I crack up all day at the mad thoughts that pass through my head like, Did that bitch just cut me off? Who is the joke on here, the one who does the cutting or the one that sees herself as cut? The cutter has made her way and is gone, the cutter is the nutty woman driving to work angry because she got cut off.
While journeying on this road less traveled, it is important to take note that every moment is fleeting. Sometimes we need a constant reminder that being in the moment is just that, being here and present and open, because whatever it is, it does not stick around too long. Why not let it be? Why take in unwanted stuff and make it a part of who you are?
And isn't that the root of most of which brings us anguish, trying to hold onto a moment past, instead of being in the moment present? The longing for what was? When the truth is, all we really have is what is.
I had a funny conversation today with a co-worker, which brings me to today's photo. This is a picture of a Buddha Board. I picked mine up in an airport gift shop on my way home from Key West. It sets up like an easel, comes with a little brush, and a small troth to fill with water.
You dip the brush into the water and create on the pad, your drawing only lasts 2 minutes. Two minutes it is there and then it is gone. Before you can begin to create something, at times, what you started, has dissipated and something new is taking form. It's a reminder. The only moment we ever truly experience is the present moment, in a second it has become past, a thought, a memory, not a tangible thing.
Written on the booklet that comes with the board, and I am paraphrasing here, it says:
The past is over
The future may never be
The present is all that exists
Live each moment ot the fullest
Well that little phrase just blew my coworkers mind! He's an accountant, therefore his thinking is very literal, and linear. He was looking so strangely at my desk I had to ask what was wrong. He told me that he was having a difficult time digesting what was written. "As an accountant, I constantly work in the past, It does exists, it's right in front of me, I am dealing with things that took place in the past, I work in it"
No dude, you are working in the present dealing with an event from the past, dude you can only work in the past if you are a time traveler. And even if you were a time traveler and went into the past, wouldn't you still be living your present moment?
Of course I was cracking up the entire time we were having this conversation. He could not grasp it. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm nuts, but I hope that our moment opened something new inside of him.
Today I am thankful for the newness of each moment that comes along allowing me to shed off impressions of the past.
Lifeis: To be lived, minute by minute by minute, I'll be moving onnnn! (I hope Michael McDonald does not sue me for that!) as if! :-)