I would not say that I am completely cured because to this day....usually in the morning because I'm forever running late, the b word pops out of my mouth really quickly. Usually after the first pop, however, it stuns me into the present and I get over it and get my butt on to work.
During this process of practicing what Tolle calls space consciousness and Singer calls untethering the Soul, I am not only conscious of my thoughts, but also of my words and my reactions. Singer says that our Souls are tethered because we are holding pain and resistance. He goes further to say, that if we watch our reactions during our day to that which angers us, shames us, or causes us fear it is one of the very first steps to eradicating these very things from our Being.
He contends that we spend our lives, building walls to protect and cover pain and fear. And, that layers and layers of this fear is stored in our bodies.
The mission is to release this stored energy. With each release of old wounds, pain, and fears of any kind, a space is created from which our Souls can shine (space consciousness says Tolle). The release of that light that shines from within allows us to live our lives to the fullest....okay, here is the problem.
Shit ain't easy! It is not easy to release my pompous anger that shouts, "You offended me! How dare you take a easy slow ass drive to work in the morning because you got up on time, and cut in front of me! Me who did NOT spring out of the bed eager to start my day at work and make me even LATER then I am already!"
Well until you type it. Then it seems quite silly. And, it is quite obvious that I am really mad at myself and not you. Mad because I am still caught in the cycle of getting up every day to go into a job that does not fulfill me on any level, be it intellectual, spiritual or even creative, which brings me to face the fear that I am not worthy to hold a job that is intellectually, spiritually, and creatively fulfilling. There it is. There is the morning road rage's root. The fear of unworthiness.
This is a type of fear that touches you to your core. The point is to face it. To feel it. To see it. To understand it and to let it go.
Can you sit with your fears? Can you float in a pool of unworthiness, feel it to your core, and understand it for what it really is? A feeling? An uncomfortable energy. Something that is actually built up as a result of some other fear...something that is not truly you, but something that you experience.
Most of us block. It's natural, something uncomfortable arises and your first reaction is to push it away. l don't want to be uncomfortable, that is not who I am! But as Dr. Beckwith says, "What you resist, will persist!" And it is not only a mental block that is created, it is physical one.
Forget the pain in our hearts and minds for one second. These things translate to pains in our backs, arms, legs, fingers....and start to show up as disease.
So, sit with that for today. Sit with the possibility that each time you are offended and angered by the actions of another, what is really happening is the world exposing you to something deep inside of yourself that needs healing.
And let's talk about the process of releasing tomorrow, because it's after 11 pm at night and I have not done anything I need to do to prepare myself to rise early tomorrow and make my way to that stinking job.....
Today I am thankful for exposure. When that which is hidden is exposed it is cleansed by the light.
Lifeis: About Good Exposure!