I made a decision today. I am no longer in search of anything! Not in search of a house or a job, or a man, not even the perfect hair product that will make my naturally, kinky- curly locks look just like I want them! And, trust me that little feat is a far more difficult task than looking for a man (more expensive too)!
At this point in my life I am really sick of looking for, searching for, seeking out. Hell, it’s hard work looking for stuff. Not only does it place a certain amount of pressure on you, it leaves you with a feeling of anxiety. Will I find it? If I do, can I get it? Will someone beat me to it and take it away from me? Frustration! Oh my God that would have been perfect but someone beat me to it! And, sometimes just plain ole sadness! Why me? … Why not me? What am I doing wrong?
The best things that have come to me in life, I never spent one minute actually looking for. The best things I’ve simply connected with. They have come from far left field or sometimes appeared out of thin air and presented themselves to me. There are times when what you really need appears to you in a different light. You look at in and wonder why you did not see it all along.
I’m not saying that I no longer want or desire, I do. My new pledge is to work at being clear about what I want or desire, being clear about the importance of what I see taking place before my eyes. Knowing that it is important to live with my eyes wide open; because my faith and knowledge tell me that what is happening in my life is a clear reflection of what I am projecting.
The search is over! It is time for connection. I wish to connect to my dreams and desires, to project through these physical eyes the performance that I wish to see, to take note of the one going on, and understand that it is all thought dancing the dance that I have choreographed with my own mind.
It is time to learn to write the story and get out of the way of its creation. We as humans have a natural attachment to things, people, and even circumstances. We think, that person is the only one right for me or this house must be mine!!
Last year I started out on a mission, to create some new circumstances in my life. If you’ve been reading you know that a few of those things are in motion. There was one thing that presented itself to me earlier this year that set me off on a mission of cleaning the dust out of the corners of my credit report (Sweet Melissa).
That is her in the background (and me very roughly photo shopped in), yes she’s a house, whose spirit I fell deeply in love with that I claimed as mine, but alas….as things are looking right now, that is not going to happen, but I am thankful for everything that meeting with her put into motion for me.
The desire for her made me go into some dark places of my financial past and clean them out!!! And she came to me on a sunny Spring walk. The only thing I wanted that day was some exercise, what I actually connected with was so much more.
I connected with a feeling. The feeling in me said, “Hey girl, you can do this!” And, she’s left me with that feeling…she may not be mine in physicality, but she will always be mine in spirit, because I now own that “Hey Girl YOU CAN DO THIS ATTITUDE!”
Just because a person, a place an experience in life did not lead you exactly where you thought it would, does not mean that there were no lessons learned and no growth
Today I am thankful for Melissa, meeting her changed my direction and set me on a new path.
Lifeis: About knowing that what is set before you is what you need to make your connection to your heart’s desires, use it!